"ezekiel in 27 minutes"

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August 30 , 2003

I never thought I would say it, but at the Cherkassy conference, I was "thanking my lucky stars" that a month ago, I landed in Heathrow airport while it was embroiled in an airline strike. Stranded in London on a Sunday, I had determined to see whatever show happened to be playing. After checking at the theatres, I bought my ticket to the only show in town that particular day: The Complete Works of Shakespeare (Abridged); little did I know how serendipitous this viewing would prove.

At the Cherkassy conference, we thoroughly embedded ourselves in the book of Ezekiel - all 48 chapters. Chris, Sergey, Oleg, Artyom, and both Lenas offered their insight into the eclectic chapters - some fantastical and others monotonous. We read about visions of four-headed four-winged creatures, adulterous sisters, cooking atop human excrement, valleys of dry bones, shepherds, a blueprint for building a temple, and much, much more. Before the conference, a few of us met to determine the schedule for each day and divide responsibilities. Chris helpfully suggested to several others, namely Anton, Dima, and Vanya, that they volunteer their considerable talents to assist me, the new guy. After each assessing the dramatic potential of different portions of Ezekiel, the four of us, with several other additions, gathered for our first group meeting.

We did not accomplish a large amount at this first meeting. However, we did determine the highlights of the book; we settled on seven distinct scenes or themes that contained the essence of the book as well as the most promise for humor and then assigned them to various people.

Our second meeting, however, set the foundations for the fabulous spectacle that would eventually result. Lasting only two hours, we attacked the problems presented to us by the book. Where would we find four headed creatures? How can we portray adulterous sisters? How in the world were we going to be able to pull off this production? Again, my London holiday came to the rescue. The London troupe had used the frame of a cooking show to relay the message of Shakespeare's play Troilus and Cressida. Since one chapter of Ezekiel mentioned cooking with human excrement and a large cooking pot with strange ingredients, I decided this frame could be humorously employed in our production. As we discussed the other six scenes, it became apparent that the TV format should be extended to include the entire production. From that point, our newly formed snow-ball started rolling insatiably.

We were to perform our creation Saturday night, the final night of the conference. That afternoon, we met for over three hours, each bringing our individual TV programs to the group for critique and practice. Several of the cast members spent much of the time creating our primitive, yet creative props. As we gathered in the kitchen before the big show, having never fully practiced the entire play as one, many people, including myself questioned whether we would succeed. By the way, I neglected to mention, that, stealing another idea from London, we had decided to follow up our presentation of Ezekiel in 27 minutes by presenting it again in only 5.

However, as "Showtime" arrived and the stage lights rose, everyone put on his or her stage face and pulled off the initial play without a hitch. The final production consisted of Anya and Olya "watching" television and deciding to "switch channels" every so often in order to transition scenes. The television programs were as follows: 1) Pantomime presentation of Ezekiel's call complete with a "four-headed" creature and edible scroll (chocolate candy bar); 2) Babushka (grandmother) Fairy Tale Time - "The Two Sisters" played by none other than Dima and Anton; 3) Celebrity Cooking Show with guest Ezekiel (played by Chris) and the human excrement, pot and ingredients played by the rest of the cast; 4) the Daily Prophet News where the prophecies against Egypt, Tyre, Edom, etc had come to life; 5) A Ukrainian nature program "These Curious Animals" documenting a herd of sheep surrounding its sick members (Chris); 6) The Discovery Channel's on-site presentation of the Valley of Dry Bones; and, finally, (7) "Doma" a Ukrainian building show about constructing a temple (though this program was shut off quickly due to boredom).

Flushed and out of breath with excitement, we huddled in the kitchen and prepared for the grand, five-minute sequel. A whirlwind of props, sprinting, yelling, confusion, and laughter later, we had successfully done the impossible. We presented Ezekiel, unabridged, in five minutes. However, the most rewarding part of the experience was not the laughter, applause, or praise of the audience. Instead, I found myself embraced in hugs of relief, accomplishment, and joy with the other cast members, whom I had barely known a few days before.


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