| four coins
the bench was freezing
I don’t quite know why I sat there
the green slats streamed off to either side
weathered and beaten on the edges
chipped and tired
she hobbled over to me
I knew why she was coming
music blasted in my ears
removing me from the day, the place
but I was watching
I had been watching everyone fro some time
I was the unnoticed observer
sitting dark and deaf against the green
a face passed and unnoticed
until her eyes met mine
I came back to the bench
away from the lyrics, below the sound
she hobbled on the crooked stone
poking her lame cane into the cracks
as a worthless crutch for uneven stone
pitifully echoing in emptiness
rhythmically approaching my bench
I watched her
although she removed her eyes from mine
searching alongside her cane instead
the faded shades of thread knit her hair
tightly to her head
upheld by the firm cross under her chin
four eyed and three legged
hunched, swaddled, but moving
purposefully and swiftly she approached
as she had already with her gaze
I could not understand her foreign tongue
although I removed my ears of escape
I didn’t need to though
her bent arm, shriveled and sturdy
shaking and boldly moving toward me
spoke the language of silence
I looked into her face
seeing the same face, so many faces
on the metro stairs
at crosswalks
hunched, swaddled, and shadowed
asking, cups set out, lips silently whispering
prayers outstretched, hands pleading
a species of city sidewalks
and underground corners
I don’t see the face
the shivering legs and stabbing crutch are blind to me
abruptly free fallen from my lyrical world
I reach automatically
I have four coins in my pocket
I give her three
the nod results and three legs shuffle on
as I reach for the play button
then I see her face
a flash of memory, sunken eyes
staring inward at a broken self
burrowed forehead and thin lips tight
why always coins, am I now conditioned
I feel only if I allow her face
to intrude upon my world
in the shadows I oblige the clink of cups
hearing the gratitude as automated response
fulfilling my duty, feeding my self
her face came before me
and I forgot about myself
my world and personal escapes
I saw her
I shook my head and inserted
my headphones
I had four coins and I gave her three
follow the rules – some but not all
metal, silver, copper, and brass
I turned, but she had vanished
into the dusty mist of the city street
the beats and strings returned
from ear to ear hammering me away
next time I will give a bill, I thought
as her face swam in the melodies
and the cold, faded green bench went unnoticed
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